Annmarie Chiarini's long-distance boyfriend was goading her to pose nude. The pictures would be for his eyes only, Chiarini recalls him saying, because she was so beautiful and because he missed her so much.
He promised, she said, they would be stored on a compact disc and hidden in his drawer.
Chiarini believed him — until they broke up and the CD was auctioned on eBay with a link emailed to her friends and family. Copies were later mailed to her son's Catholic school kindergarten teacher and the department head at the college where Chiarini taught English. The images eventually wound up on a pornographic video-sharing site, earning 4,000 views in less than two weeks.
"I was horrified," said the 42-year-old single mom living in Towson, Md. Chiarini said that the night he said he was going to do it, she "called the police in an absolute panic and tried to explain what was going on. I said, 'He's threatening to put these pictures of me on an eBay auction,' and they (said), 'So?'"
It's called "revenge porn," and it's legal in every state but California and New Jersey. A person shares a sexually explicit photo or video with a partner, only to see those images pop up online months or even years later — typically after a bad breakup. The images are often tied to the person's name, address and phone number. And in a particularly disturbing twist, some of the sites appear to be running side businesses offering "reputation protection services": Dump $500 into a PayPal account and maybe they will take down your photo.
Chiarini says she remembers one police officer thumbing through a black book at his desk before finally shrugging his shoulders and telling her no crime had been committed.
Holly Jacobs, a Florida woman who founded EndRevengePorn.com after her own self-shots wound up online — along with her name, where she worked and details on her Ph.D program — says attempts to exempt "selfies" from the law shows that most people still "blame the victim." She estimates that 80 percent of the 1,000 victims of revenge porn who have contacted her in the past year took the images themselves.
As for Chiarini, she got lucky. Ebay and the video-sharing site that published her photos agreed to take them down immediately. Her son's school didn't kick out the family, although it insisted on keeping the disc of nude photos in a file. And Chiarini never lost her job. Chiarini has since been working with Jacobs' Cyber Civil Rights Initiative, an advocacy group that targets online harassment issues, to raise awareness and help other victims.
"I hit my low, now it's time to fight back," said Chiarini. "I don't want to feel that way ever again."
Huffington Post
Chiarini believed him — until they broke up and the CD was auctioned on eBay with a link emailed to her friends and family. Copies were later mailed to her son's Catholic school kindergarten teacher and the department head at the college where Chiarini taught English. The images eventually wound up on a pornographic video-sharing site, earning 4,000 views in less than two weeks.
"I was horrified," said the 42-year-old single mom living in Towson, Md. Chiarini said that the night he said he was going to do it, she "called the police in an absolute panic and tried to explain what was going on. I said, 'He's threatening to put these pictures of me on an eBay auction,' and they (said), 'So?'"
It's called "revenge porn," and it's legal in every state but California and New Jersey. A person shares a sexually explicit photo or video with a partner, only to see those images pop up online months or even years later — typically after a bad breakup. The images are often tied to the person's name, address and phone number. And in a particularly disturbing twist, some of the sites appear to be running side businesses offering "reputation protection services": Dump $500 into a PayPal account and maybe they will take down your photo.
Chiarini says she remembers one police officer thumbing through a black book at his desk before finally shrugging his shoulders and telling her no crime had been committed.
Holly Jacobs, a Florida woman who founded EndRevengePorn.com after her own self-shots wound up online — along with her name, where she worked and details on her Ph.D program — says attempts to exempt "selfies" from the law shows that most people still "blame the victim." She estimates that 80 percent of the 1,000 victims of revenge porn who have contacted her in the past year took the images themselves.
As for Chiarini, she got lucky. Ebay and the video-sharing site that published her photos agreed to take them down immediately. Her son's school didn't kick out the family, although it insisted on keeping the disc of nude photos in a file. And Chiarini never lost her job. Chiarini has since been working with Jacobs' Cyber Civil Rights Initiative, an advocacy group that targets online harassment issues, to raise awareness and help other victims.
"I hit my low, now it's time to fight back," said Chiarini. "I don't want to feel that way ever again."
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